Responding to Sexualised Comments: Option 1

I have assumed that these feelings and expression of sexual attraction have arisen at the very beginning of therapy. If these behaviours started expressing later in the course of longer term therapy then the approach would be different.

I keep the following mantra in mind for any behaviour that begins to transgress boundaries.

• Highlight
• Reflect
• Normalise
• Refocus
• Repeat

In this particular instance I would suggest the following possible set of responses.

Highlight

I am aware that each time we meet you give me a complement about my appearance or my dress.

Is that something you are aware of?

What do you make of that?

Reflect

Do you make these comments to everyone you see men and women?

So what makes you decide when you might make these comments?

Some people may interpret these comments as suggesting sexual attraction. What would you make of that?

Would you make these comments when you are sexually attracted to someone?

Even though it might be difficult to acknowledge do you have some sexual attraction to me.

Normalise

It is not uncommon for clients to have these feelings, it fact it is quite normal.

Refocus

I wonder how we can put aside these feelings of sexual attraction so that we can focus on the task you came here for which is to get better and change some things in your life.

Repeat (if needed)